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Archive for September, 2011

Love is All Around

I’m sitting here thinking about my husband, who passed away suddenly exactly one week ago.  I think the finality of it all is starting to hit me.  I’ve been so busy these past few days since it happened, making funeral arrangements, making sure our daughter is doing ok, sorting out the myriad things that have to be done when someone dies……that I haven’t really thought about my loss and what that actually means to me. I’m not even sure I’m ready to face that part of it yet.

This morning it is one week since he left us.  I told our daughter that the angels came and took Daddy to heaven to be with Jesus, and that he would be in her heart and watch over us always.  She seemed to understand that – last Friday our pastor came to her classroom during circle time and told her classmates the same thing, and that they should pray for us all (N piped up and reminded us not to forget our dog too).  I have always had a strong faith but I didn’t really think about it on a daily basis.  When my beloved Nana passed away in 1995, my Mum told me she had seen a glowing light right after it happened, and that my Nana had a smile on her face when she went back into the room a little later on.   Last Thursday, after I had taken N to school, I went back to the hospital to say a final goodbye to his physical presence.  He looked very peaceful, but of course by the time I returned, three hours after his passing, his body was cold……I held his hand and told him goodbye…..and then I put my hand on his chest over his heart.  It was warm, right there….nowhere else….just where his heart was.   I felt that he had been waiting for me to come and say goodbye.  His love will never leave us.  Since then, I have felt so much love from friends and family, both near and far, and I know that our faith will sustain us as we navigate these uncharted waters ahead.  We may have said goodbye to his physical presence, but his love is all around us always.

Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well.  (Henry Scott Holland)

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